Corinne's sister, Kathy, was a devout Mormon. We knew she was Mormon, and she knew we were reformed Protestants. Since we never interacted much as family due to distance and brokenness within her family, we never had deep conversations regarding the Mormon aspect of her beliefs. Death, and the remembrance of her life revealed the extent of those beliefs and in Kathy's situation also revealed the conflicts between Mormonism and the Catholicism in which she was raised.
It was a blessing for us and for her surviving family members to attend the Mormon memorial service on Thursday night and the Veterans memorial service and burial on Friday afternoon. In the other times we had with family, the conversations were restorative, supportive and encouraging. We stayed with Marcy and Johnny, her husband, and Karen stayed there too.
There were many tears shared and also personal testimonies from all the sisters and brothers who attended, and Joanne, who didn't attend, sent a note to Corinne, asking her to share it at both services. Dan traveled to Houston in hopes of seeing Kathy before she died but didn't get there in time and was gone by the time we arrived. The sharing of memories and the tears seemed to me to be redemptive in the lives of Kathy's siblings. It helped Corinne to reconnect with James and Wayne especially because we didn't see them when we went down to visit Kathy in July 2023. Also touching to us was the deep gratitude expressed by Roy's 4 daughters, the youngest of which was 8 when she met Kathy (Kathy and Roy were married for 15 years before Roy died).
I observed a stark contrast between the message provided by the Mormon church on Thursday night and Friday, the heartfelt needs of the grieving family members, and the gospel message that our hope is based on. As Corine and I sorted things out we understood a little better how the Mormon church became appealing to Kathy even after her first husband (who got her into the Mormon church) abandoned her with 6 children. The Catholic church (she attended Catholic High School) never gave Kathy all the answers shew demanded about life and life's purpose and why she needed to follow the Catholic church's teachings. Although Christianity is more credible than other religions (humanism and paganism included), even we reformed Christians live with a bit of wonder and uncertainty about aspects of Christianity that are difficult to grasp, but which we choose to hold onto by faith. As Augustine reminds us, "By faith we believe what we cannot see, and through that faith we see what we believe." For Kathy and many others, to be certain about everything that requires faith you need a system, which is what the Mormon church is. Its a works based, earn your way to heaven system, where if you do enough good things and you do the special things that the Mormon church offers (like sealing your marriage in heaven) you don't need to worry. The good news is that because of the outreach made to Kathy's children by the Mormon church, we are assured they will never become Mormons. The prime example of this is her first born son, James who came to Jesus while serving a 10-year prison sentence.
Kathy requested one song out of the Mormon hymnbook to be sung on Thursday night. I am surprised this song even made it into the Mormon hymnbook, but like most cults they mix the good with the bad. In a service where the Mormon leaders didn't bother to include one scripture passage, the words of this hymn below and the testimonials and tears of those who shared, provided the much needed hope of the gospel. So in Friday's memorial service I read the words below.
I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, bled and died.
I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine,
To rescue a soul so rebellious as mine.
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.
I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt,
Such mercy, such love, such devotion can I forget?
No, no I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.
To this I added that as the family gathers to mourn the loss of Kathy, and family come in touch with her recent sufferings and our own brokenness, the words of the gospel of Jesus, as expressed in the words of the hymn she selected, have the power to change all that has been bad, to become not true. This was the theme of the sermon Pastor Tim Keller preached at Redeemer Church, PCA in NYC the Sunday following the horrifying September 11, 2001 terrorist attack at the World Trade Center. The message from Keller, that through the power of the gospel all that has been bad becomes become untrue, takes faith to believe and embrace, but gives far greater life than works-based system of Mormonism.
Following my time of sharing many more family members came forward to share tearful testimonies of gratefulness laced with brokenness, through which the gospel could take greater hold in the lives of us who grieved Kathy's passing.
