Two weeks ago tomorrow, while peering through the window above our kitchen sink that overlooks our firepit patio, I noticed for the first time this summer a hummingbird. The ruby throated hummingbird made his way from one cluster of flowers to the next, gathering nectar to fuel his activities. I’ve often thought that a sighting of something unusual in nature to be a harbinger of something that lies ahead. Sometimes those sightings have included dark symbols such as black crows circling overhead that turned out later to be false signs. Hummingbirds, however, are symbols of lightness and joy. People who adopt the hummingbird as a totem or symbol are thought to be playful, adaptable, and can combat negativity with ease. They also serve as good reminders to live life to the fullest and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
I visited mother that afternoon and shared every photo I had taken during our recent vacation with Tyler, Jennica and their children. She savored each one and was enamored with them. She told me how much she loved these little children and how much she enjoyed the times visiting with them and engaging them in conversation. She said “I like to ask them questions to find out what they’re thinking about.” That turned out to be the last time I or anyone would see her before she suffered the debilitating stroke that happened less than 24 hours later. But what a special last memory that was.
Her last engagement with anyone here on earth was:
• not concerned about things bothering her
• not begging for attention
• not filled with worry; but
• Enjoying and giving thanks for members of her family.
As I started winding back the years of her life that I could recall, it revealed one instance after another of mother putting her family and their interests ahead of her own. Once Bob and I left the nest, she tended to her own aging parents, and her young grandchildren. Once her parents had passed, she spent more time with her grandchildren, and with Dad visited church members, friends and family and bringing comfort to those who were suffering. When those contemporaries had passed on, she focused on her great grandchildren, who are gathered with us today. Holidays and birthday gatherings were always special events that she enjoyed and in her younger years performed much of the cooking for. Even when she was unable to carry the load of entertaining family she always enjoyed each and every one. We were all particularly blessed in 2021 to have gathered with mother and dad at our home on both the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. All of you here can remember that she treasured even our recent family gatherings.
All of these memories beg the questions:
• What made it possible for mother to keep the focus on others?
• What made it possible for mother to overcome the challenges of depression that she faced earlier in life?
• What made it possible for her to live a life well-lived?
• Why did I see a hummingbird outside our window and not black crows?
All of the answers to those questions for mother can be summed up in having a vital relationship with God through the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
I don’t know all of her journey to faith - when it began and when it really took root in her but when I shared with her as an excited young teenager that I received Jesus as my savior and Lord, her response was “How can that happen for me?” It happened, and not long from then, through the influence of godly pastors, church friends and her husband.
Dad, the work that God had done in your life some 30 year earlier, and the example of your daily faithfulness to God and your family was probably the greatest consistent positive influence in her life.
Those of us who had the opportunity to visit mother in the Strong Hospice Care unit where she was eventually transferred to, were able to see her when she was in a state of peacefulness, although not fully conscious. That experience was something unexpectedly rich. She squeezed Dad’s hand while he held it. She turned her head when Tim walked from one side of the bed to the other. I believe she felt Bob’s kiss. I believe she heard our prayers, our singing of hymns and our assurances she was in good hands. She had recently been suffering more and more from the effects of dementia which had robbed her of some of the peace that she normally exhibited and that was concerning. So, during those final visits we shared with her it was almost like God was beginning to roll back the human suffering that came with the dementia, even as her life on earth was diminishing and her eternal life beginning.
I ask that as we continue in conversations with each other today and the following days to share your remembrances of mother with one another and encourage each other in our time of grieving, and I leave you with the image of the hummingbird as an image of her life here on earth.
